Had my first formal observation this week, and it went really well. I told my kids if they rocked it I would consider doing a pizza party on Friday, and they actually did NOT rock it the way I was hoping they would, but it gave me the chance to display my classroom management to my AP, so now I don’t have to pay for pizza. Best of both worlds! Actually, though, the problems have become pretty few and far between – when I feel like things aren’t going how I’d like them to go, I take a step back, regroup, breathe, and then consider student actions. What is it I want them to do? Who can I start with that will get the rest of the students looking and listening? It’s like cleaning my room when I was a little kid – start with one corner, fix that, and move on to the next. Start with the corner that’s going to stay clean.
In all honesty, I have no idea how what I’m doing seems to be working as well as it is. All I know is that my administration seems to be really pleased with where I am, not just in the context of me being a first year teacher, let alone me being a first year teacher doing an alternative certification program, but also in the context of me being a teacher in general. They keep reiterating to me that I am my own harshest critic, and I think I’m finally, finally getting to the point where I believe it.
In other news, I’ve got some kids going through a tough time right now, and I just want to hug them and never let them go. I wish I could defend my kids from the world. I’ve never felt this way before about anyone, and the thought that there are things in their lives that I can’t make better is really painful to me. STOP PICKING ON MY BABIES, UNIVERSE. I WILL CUT YOU.